Some Kind Of Monster
by Solita
Summary: ... the monster lives. (2nd side-story to A Life Mistake; set a little before 7 - Black Funeral; songfic)


  
  
  
  
  
  
His smile screamed with hate and desire, a combination which would rival bloodlust. His lips tasted no freedom, his face would never change, and he knew his soul was no longer pure.  
  
_It's fine_, he denied himself, _it's okay. It doesn't matter. Nothing does._  
  
Because the monster lives. The monster inside lives, and not even he could stop it. It was breathing, living inside of him.  
  
The monster was alive.  
  
Denial can go so far.  
  
  
// _These are the eyes that can't see me  
These are the hands that drop your trust  
These are the boots that kick you around  
This is the tongue that speaks on the inside  
These are the ears that ring with hate  
This is the face that'll never change  
This is the fist that grinds you down  
This is the voice of silence no more_ //  
  
  
Binds and crossroads filter his mind, similar to the chains, wires, and engineered strings that held him within agony. Stained eyes watched and glanced around his prison cell, yet he couldn't see vibrantly enough.  
  
_I have to leave_, he concludes. Irony clouds over his ominous face. He had wished this on his own self. He wanted it this way. However, he didn't predetermine _this_. It came from nowhere, the unknown.   
  
The unnamed place... of the universe. Of his mind.  
  
  
// _These are the legs in circles run  
This is the beating you'll never know  
These are the lips that taste no freedom  
This is the feel that's not so safe  
This is the face you'll never change  
This is the god that ain't so pure  
This is the god that is not pure  
This is the voice of silence no more_ //  
  
  
He should have known to be careful on what he wished for. However, he had forgotten at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was blinded by the fact that someone other than himself knew more than he did.  
  
He was powerful, strong with his ki formation, but now there was someone who was stronger than him. Stronger than him mentally. He hated that.   
  
Selfishness overruled his judgment and his ability to speak willingly and consciously. He brought this among himself, for he was too blind. Too blind to accept the fact that there was someone stronger than him... mentally.  
  
He set out to prove him wrong.  
  
  
// _We the people  
Are the people?  
We the people  
Are the people?_ //  
  
  
This insanity, he created. The people, the pawns, _everything _that was apart of this chimera. He made this, he wanted this, he desired _this_.  
  
He loved chimeras. He enjoyed it.   
  
He was a monster. Some... kind of monster. He loved this. He enjoyed this. He wished to God, and the Devil, that this wouldn't end.  
  
And he knew they weren't there, because he wished it so.  
  
  
// _Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
This monster lives_ //  
  
  
For some reason, though, the power he had over all of this was... _slipping_?  
  
_Of course not_, he bemused, _nothing could slip_. He was the master of the puppets. He could do whatever he wanted. This is, was, and forever will be what he wanted.  
  
He was the _mistake_! Nothing could take that away from him.  
  
He was the error, the flaw, everything that was wrong in the universe was his fault. Once he figured that out, everything began to make perfect sense.  
  
Not even he would have guessed that such information and wish could come when one would find out he or she was the mistake of it.  
  
  
// _This is the face that stones you cold  
This is the moment that needs to breathe  
These are the claws that scratch these wounds  
This is the pain that never leaves  
This is the tongue that whips you down  
This is the burden of every man  
These are the screams that pierce your skin  
This is the voice of silence no more_ //  
  
  
Yet, as he was tied and placed under the pain he asked for with a gigantic smile, he was puzzled by something.  
  
He wasn't supposed to be puzzled by anything. He was supposed to know everything. He was the key to the end of the game he had set up. And when Vegeta would arrive, and see his form, everything would be explained.  
  
But, he still questioned himself. He was supposed to say the word supposed, let alone think it. It was like a curse word a three year old is not to say. Within his world, it was the word that couldn't be uttered.  
  
And he, the God, the Devil, the Supreme Being, was saying it.  
  
More than once.  
  
  
// _This is the test of flesh and soul  
This is the trap that smells so good  
This is the flood that drains these eyes  
These are the looks that chill to the bone  
These are the fears that swing over head  
These are the weights that hold you down  
This is the end that will never end  
This is the voice of silence no more_ //  
  
  
Was he losing grip? Was he becoming a pawn of his own world?  
  
He wouldn't admit or believe it. He was God. He was the ultimate being. He was the key.  
  
He was the goddamned fucking answer to _everything_!  
  
... then why was he so afraid? Paranoid?  
  
Denying?  
  
He couldn't deny. Denying was just as bad as supposing.  
  
God couldn't deny anything. God knew everything. Just like Destiny and Fate. They know everything. He had talked to them. He knows. They know.  
  
They **know**.  
  
... he shivered.  
  
He didn't make it cold, though.  
  
  
// _We the people  
Are we the people?  
We the people  
Are we the people?_ //  
  
  
For some reason, fear entered his heart.  
  
Maybe the pawns that slaved over his computers and electronics were taking over him. Maybe... he was the pawn now?  
  
Maybe the monster he created wasn't him...  
  
... but was the thing he created. The creation was the monster, and it was taking over.  
  
No, God couldn't lose control over humanity. God created everything in six days, and the Bible was infallible.  
  
And his Bible said that God was perfect, and that no one could prove him wrong.  
  
... but then again, he was a mistake. A life mistake.  
  
Not **the** mistake, but **a** life mistake. Are there others? Where are the others, then? Maybe someone has taken over his world, finding out that there was a mistake in the universe being his own god... maybe he is the only one, like he assumed in the beginning, and he just made a mistake, like he's supposed to...  
  
But assumptions are _wrong_! He _can't_ assume! God _cannot_ assume! Assumptions bring nothing but pain and agony.  
  
But then... he was going through agony. Agony that couldn't be described. Agony that even if Vegeta saw him going through this, he would cry at the sight. Even if he didn't notice at first.  
  
The Bible was right. Everything else was wrong.  
  
... that was the creationist though. He wasn't balanced. He was going for one side, not the middle as he wanted.  
  
... something went wrong.  
  
  
// _Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
This monster lives _ //  
  
  
He was confused...   
  
Scared, confused, frightened, in pain, denial, frantic...  
  
He was losing it. He probably lost it now. He lost everything he made... and now... he was the pawn!  
  
He is the **pawn**!!  
  
Dear God... no.  
  
But he was God, and God didn't exist... because...  
  
How he wished he could have held his head.  
  
Then again, when you have your body merged with chips and wires and being crucified to something that couldn't be explained, being crucified to a thing that should not be, it's hard to do anything.  
  
He shouldn't have made this. He knew that this was all his fault. He brought this onto himself. He knew...  
  
but it was too late. Too late.  
  
  
// _This is the cloud that swallows trust  
This is the black that uncolors us  
This is the face that you hide from  
This is the mask that comes undone _ //  
  
  
His story was coming to an end. He wanted it to continue. He wanted the tale to live on, puzzle others until they die. Puzzle them even after death.  
  
Vegeta was close. The pain was becoming unbearable. The story was going to unravel.   
  
He already gave the orders to his pawns on what to do next, to pull the strings on his hero, his so-called savior.  
  
_I shouldn't call him so-called anymore_, he thought, beginning to lose consciousness. _He actually is gonna be my savior._  
  
Irony paid its toll. What a back-stabbing bitch she is.  
  
  
// _Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us _ //  
  
  
The monster was out of control. The monster inside was going to eat everything alive, including himself.   
  
Vegeta was near. The play was entering another act. He couldn't feel. He couldn't hear. He could still see though.  
  
He could see his pawns, following his rules and his orders. They were listening.  
  
He knew, deep inside his heart and gut, or what was left of it, that they weren't listening to him.  
  
They were listening to another monster. To the monster he created. To the game, the journey, the quest.  
  
The monster that was alive.  
  
  
// _This is the cloud that swallows trust  
This is the black that uncolors us  
This is the face that you hide from  
This is the mask that comes undone_ //  
  
  
Sweat, filled with electricity and chips, fell down his brow down to the tilted ground, splashing onto his blood that filled the room entirely.  
  
He shouldn't be alive. But he was, after all, the father of the monster.  
  
He was the father of the entire world. This world. He cannot die. Not yet, that is.  
  
The hero needs to find the victim. And then the victim can die.  
  
Or the hero can die.  
  
Or both.  
  
What happens after that is up to the reader.  
  
  
// _Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us  
Ominous  
I'm in us _//  
  
  
He was going crazy. He already _was_ crazy.  
  
_God_ was crazy.  
  
And for some reason, that amused him. He lost the smile, though. He couldn't laugh, for his voice was too raw from no usage.  
  
But he could laugh on the inside. What was left of it, that is.  
  
  
// _Are we the people?_ //  
  
  
Vegeta was here. He felt it. He knew it. God knew everything, after all.  
  
_I wonder_, he thought, _if Vegeta is Jesus and he was saving his father... me_.   
  
He didn't bother laughing or continuing the thought.  
  
  
// _Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
Some kind of monster  
This monster lives_ //  
  
  
He closed his eyes, not even bothering to look at Vegeta. He was here, and the story would begin its end.  
  
This was the climax. Now came the falling action, and then the resolution.  
  
Hopefully there would be one.   
  
And if there _wasn't_... ?  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
